Happiness means different things to different people. What does happiness mean to you? Take a pen and paper and write it down. Go ahead, and define your own sense of happiness. Everybody wants to know how to become happy. But there is no universal definition of happiness. For instance, some find happiness in food. Some find happiness in possessions. While others find happiness in travelling. But let’s take a closer look at these parameters of happiness. Food will digest and your taste buds will be satisfied. Your possessions will expire or become outdated only to be taken over by the next big thing. Your travel date will come to an end and life will return to its routine grind. Does this mean happiness only lasts until it fades away? Does happiness have an expiry date?
If happiness does not last, it only means that it was a momentary pleasure. The pleasure of the senses. The pleasing of the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. For example, you eat your favourite meal and please your sense of taste. In another instance, you hear your favourite music, and it brings pleasure to your sense of hearing. Similarly, pleasing anyone or a combination of our five senses makes us happy. Or at least we think that is what happiness means. A moment of pleasure is experienced by any one or more of our sensory organs. And there is another sixth sense responsible for perceiving this pleasure as happiness – the mind. Whatever our mind perceives as happiness is what we ultimately believe.
Pleasing our senses can only last for a certain duration of time. Over a period of time, the pleasure that we experience fades away. And so does our so-called "happiness" Take for instance, relishing your favourite chocolate. How long do you think you can keep relishing it? The pleasure experienced from it is ultimately going to fade away. But there has to be a way to find lasting happiness. A state that does not have an end date, does not expire. And that begins with a simple formula of becoming happier with yourself. Real happiness is a sense of inner realisation that comes from within. An internal stimulus rather than an external. This happiness can be activated even without having to please any of our senses. So, how to become happy by becoming happier with yourself? Let’s find out.
“Don’t let your happiness depend on something that you will lose.”
- C.S. Lewis
Explore and unleash the 5 tried and tested strategies to instantly elevate and boost your happiness by becoming happier with yourself
1. What do you choose? – How to become happy by choice
“Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions”
- Dalai Lama
Nobody would make a choice of being unhappy. Why would anyone deliberately make that choice? The goal is to become happier with yourself. A very important aspect of that goal is to make a choice. A choice to be happy, no matter what. Life can get difficult. Problems will arise. Things will not always go as planned. But there will always be a choice. We can overcome difficulties with a smile. We can solve problems with a balanced state of mind. No matter what challenge life throws at us, how to become happy is in our hands. A choice that we can exercise 24/7. However, consistency is the key.
We all have heard about happiness being a choice. It may not be a new concept to many. But the real challenge is how to become happy by making a choice. A conscious choice applied consistently can lead you to everlasting happiness. Finding that support in a professional coach can make it easier for you on this journey of bullet-proofing your happiness.. It is natural to get worried or stressed about something that is bothering us. However, you need not stay worried or stressed about it. You can resolve whatever is bothering you with a smile on your face. Just because the situation you are confronted with is a stressful one, does not mean you need to be unhappy about it. But this formula is definitely easier said than done. And that is why seeking help or guidance from a coach or mentor will truly help you to get out of this maze of unhappiness that you experience. I realised for myself not too long ago, that trying to achieve everything by yourself, without seeking help or guidance when needed, can become a recipe for disaster. Becoming happier with yourself can be as easy as aligning yourself with somebody who has already walked this path. However, it is important to remember that your happiness is your choice. Consciously choose to be happy.
“Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.”
- Elbert Hubbard
2. Postpone no more – How to become happy by action
“Happiness is a state of activity”
- Aristotle
If you really want to know how to become happy and find everlasting happiness, stop postponing it. Learn to be happy right here, right now. No matter what your circumstances at the moment might be, learn to find happiness in it. Learning to become happier with yourself, is knowing not to postpone it. The more restrictions you put on your happiness; the more obstacles you create in your journey of learning how to become happy. We have been wired to assume that happiness is dependent on the achievement of an external event. A student might think achieving a certain grade in his exams will bring him happiness. A young adult would think happiness will come to him once he settles down in life. A middle-aged man will think buying a big house or a fancy car will bring him happiness. This dependency on external events to bring us happiness is an unfortunate truth we live with. Let’s undo that taboo. Let’s learn that becoming happier with yourself is the key to everlasting happiness. Whatever your present circumstances are, learn how to become happy with it. Your current achievements, for example, no matter how big or small is your reason for happiness today. Find them and rejoice in them. Stop postponing happiness. Stop postponing life.
“True happiness is to .. enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.”
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
3. Let the monkey mind be – How to become happy by thought
“Most people are as happy as they make up their mind to be”
- Abraham Lincoln
You can only be as happy as your mind allows you to be. Yes, that’s right! Happiness is all in the mind. Learning how to become happy includes learning to tame your monkey mind. Allowing it to just be. Do not believe everything you think. Our minds are like a motor that starts automatically. And even before you open your eyes in the morning, your mind is already filled with numerous thoughts.
Our minds are constantly filled with thoughts. Isn’t that right?. From the time we wake up until we fall asleep, on average, the human mind thinks about 50-80,000 thoughts a day. No doubt, it is rightly referred to as the monkey mind. It is constantly hopping from one thought to another. These thoughts have the power to make us or break us. The same thought might bring happiness to one while it might make another one sad. For example, if you did not get that promotion at work that you believe you truly deserved, it might make you sad, depressed, or even angry. All of these feelings that arise in the mind, can also make you feel unworthy of that promotion. However, someone else might treat this missed opportunity as a learning lesson to work harder, work smarter and stay hopeful for the future. Becoming happier with yourself is allowing the monkey mind to just be. Not all your thoughts are facts. Do not let fictional thoughts make you sad. Let your mind consciously make you happy. Think happy thoughts. Use the power of your mind and focus on how to build self confidence. A strong mind is a happy mind because happiness is already within you. Learn to train the monkey mind and don’t let it take over your happiness.
“Happiness is an inside job.”
- William Arthur Ward
4. Why do you worry so much – How to become happy by finding solutions
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.
- Albert Einstein
A happy person is a solution-oriented person. Problems are everywhere. No one can escape them. Endless worry in an unrecognised pattern will not take you anywhere. Just worrying about a problem will not solve it for you. There is an alternate way to deal with it. This will also help you to learn how to become happy. And that is, to focus on creating solutions to problems. A negative mind will always bring problems to solutions. But a strong mind knows how to become happy, even in the face of adversity. For example, a student might worry about his upcoming exam. It is a natural phenomenon. But knowing when to end the worry and begin the solution, is what will make you happy. The student needs to focus on studying well and not on the outcome of the exam. This attitude and action alone will solve his ‘exam worry’ problem. The same formula applies to the rest of us.
Focus on the solution, not on the problem. Worrying less is the best formula to becoming happier with yourself. You are not the problem because the problem is an external source. The solution is already within you. You just have to find it. No matter what the cause of your worry is, focus your mind on finding a resolution. Divert your train of thoughts from the worst-case scenario to the best-case scenario. How to become happy is just one thought away. So the next time you are faced with a problem, you know what to do. Just look at it in a different light. A solution-oriented approach alone with help you to solve the problem. And most importantly, it will teach you how to become happy.
“There is no path to happiness, Happiness is the path.”
- Gautama Buddha
5. Joy is everywhere – How to become happy with the little things
“The purpose of our lives is to be happy”
- Dalai Lama
Still wondering how to become happy?! Look around, there is joy everywhere. Happiness can be found in the smallest of things. Becoming happier with yourself is step one. Focus on your blessings. Be grateful for what you have. If you can’t be happy with what you already have, you will never be happy with however much more you get. The little things in life have the greatest power to bring you everlasting happiness. Do not stop counting your blessings. Continue to express gratitude for every moment of your life. You will soon realise that joy is everywhere. Happiness is already within you. Focus on the good and learn to make it better. This is the only way to be happy each and every day of your life. How to become happy is just one decision away. And that decision is to find happiness in everything. Because Joy is everywhere. Slow down and look around, you will find it in the blink of an eye.
“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”
- H. Jackson Brown Jr.
To summarize, simply apply these 5 tried and tested happiness booster techniques in your life and learn how to build self confidence by becoming happier with yourself. Choose to be happy. Do not postpone happiness. Tame the monkey mind. Worry less and find joy everywhere. Becoming happier with yourself will bring you everlasting happiness. No conditions apply!
About the author, Aman Chandra -
Dealing with the separation of his parents at the age of two years and battling crippling anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) at the age of twelve years are just a few of the challenges that Aman dealt with. With a burning desire to learn “how to be happy in life” despite there being so much suffering, Aman began a life-long journey of studying under various global personal and spiritual growth masters, such as Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins. With this was born his tried-and-tested Bulletproofing-HappinessTM formula, and he uses the same to coach seekers across the globe on how to overcome challenges and live a truly happy life.