Everyone wants to maintain a good relationship with others. Emotional turmoil in relationships can consume you and distract you from your day to day activities. It can also create disequilibrium in your state of mind. Hence it is essential to learn how to form and more importantly maintain a good relationship with your loved ones. Do not go looking for solutions outside, the solution is always within. Whichever area you want to improve in your life, first look within. When it comes to relationships, the solution to your issue is never external. Work on yourself and your relationship will automatically work itself out.
What are the important factors in maintaining a good relationship?
1. Trust in a relationship is of prime importance
“The best way to find out if you trust somebody is to trust them”
- Ernest Hemingway
Every relationship, be it a romantic relationship, a friendship, family, or professional relationship requires trust. Trust in relationships is of utmost importance. Without trust, no relationship can survive. And even while it lasts, it will lack love. We fear betrayal, hence we lack trust even when there is absolutely no reason to not trust someone. When we deal with the issue of trust in relationships, we need to take a good look inside. Find out the cause of your distrust, without blaming others. Blame and fault finding is easy, but it helps no one. Especially the person accusing the other.
2. Respect is an important virtue in life, not just relationships
“Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress”
- Richard Branson
Respect is another important virtue for a good relationship. No doubt, it is essential to respect every living form on earth. Disrespecting anyone is not an excuse under any circumstance. However, respect gains more importance in our relationship with others. No matter what has happened, do not lose respect for another. There is always a good reason for everything. Look for the good, no harm can come by fixating on the good things in life.
3. Communication is a lost art. Learn to communicate humanely
“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity”
- Nat turner
When in doubt, talk it out. Communication is key. It is the foundation of any good relationship. Communication should not culminate in an argument, fight, or proving a point. Communication should include understanding the other person. Communication does not just mean all talk. It also includes being a good listener. And where talking can do more harm than good, then silence becomes an integral part of communication.
4. Self Introspection can lead to self-discovery
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
You cannot love another human being unless you love yourself first. Most (if not all!) problems in our relationship with loved ones arise because we project our own insecurities onto them. It is easy to maintain a good relationship with others if we introspect and find out the real cause of friction in our relationship. Before getting to know someone else, get to know yourself a little better. It is only when we have a good relationship with ourselves can we build a good relationship with others.
5. Share as much as you can, let it all out
“Happiness held is the seed. Happiness shared is the flower”
- John Harrigan
Sharing is caring. Share your doubts, fears, and anxieties as well as your dreams, experiences, and desires. It helps to unload. Also, remember to be a good receptor when someone else is sharing their emotions and feelings with you. A good relationship includes the sharing of whatever is in our minds. It is better to let it out than to bottle up things inside. Bottling up emotions can lead to them bursting at the wrong time; hence regularly share anything that you want to with a loved one. This is essential not just to maintain a good relationship with others but also a good relationship with yourself. It helps to detoxify the mind of all the overload of information that is stored inside it. If you find sharing difficult, seek a relationship counseling session, and share your concerns with a professional.
6. Forgive and be healed
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
- Lewis B. Swedes
Forgiveness heals. Do not hold grudges. Mistakes are inevitable. Have a forgiving heart. It helps you more than you think. Holding a grudge is like having poison in your system. It will deteriorate you from within and make you a bitter person. When you forgive, you are healing an unhealed part of yourself. Do not point fingers at others and waste time. Fixating on someone else’s mistakes will not give you any peace of mind. In fact, forgive, forget, and move on in life. It will help you to maintain a good relationship with others. If you want, you can choose your space and maintain your distance, but do not break a relationship because of a lack of forgiveness.
7. Form connections, not dependence
“People find redemption and meaning in the most unusual human connections”
- Khaled Hosseini
Feel connected to your loved ones. Do not be heavily dependent on them. Become an emotionally independent person. Emotional stability is the key to maintaining a good relationship with others. Be comfortable in your own skin. Do things on your own. Remember that a good relationship with yourself is the cornerstone of building a good relationship with others. Heavy dependency on others for our needs can turn us into an insecure, unstable, and immature person. Emotional security, stability, and independence are attractive qualities that bring you closer to the people you love. Feel connected, not dependent on your loved ones. Value their presence, irrespective of where they are and what they are doing.
8. Most importantly, mind your own business
“Do the right thing, it will gratify some people and astonish the rest”
- Mark Twain
As is clearly evident, the essential factor in maintaining a good relationship does not lie is expecting the other person alone to do any of the above. Our expectations of how things should be or how others should behave itself hinders our endeavor in maintaining a good relationship with our loved ones. No doubt a relationship and all its essential ingredients should be mutual. However, it is not our job to ensure that others do what we think they should be doing. What we can do is incorporate and practice the above as much as we can. It doesn’t matter what others are doing, what really matters is what we are thinking and doing. Don’t do it for others, do it for yourself. Maintain a peaceful and happy relationship with yourself and all your other relationships will automatically fall in place. Everyone wants to maintain a good relationship with others. Emotional turmoil in relationships can consume you and distract you from your day to day activities. It can also create disequilibrium in your state of mind. Hence it is essential to learn how to form and more importantly maintain a good relationship with your loved ones. Do not go looking for solutions outside, the solution is always within. Whichever area you want to improve in your life, first look within. When it comes to relationships, the solution to your issue is never external. Work on yourself and your relationship will automatically work itself out.
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